Come join ISIS.
We offer you excitement.
We offer you a depraved purpose in life.
You qualify if you meet any of the following criteria:
- You were told or you think you have a lower than normal (IQ) intelligence.
- You do not feel welcome in your current society or community.
- You cannot find a job.
- You think you do not have the capabilities to survive and flourish in your current environment.
- Women reject you.
- Your friends or family reject you.
- You are bored with TV, radio, books, computers and seeking a normal career path.
- You want adventure and activities way outside the norm of civilized society.
- You want to feel important to someone.
- You feel lonely.
If you join, you will receive:
- We will give you a weapon and training how to kill another human being.
- You will receive the immense satisfaction of ending another person’s life.
- You should attain a sense of satisfaction that you have participated in obliterating records of past societies.
- You will make a lot of new friends as stupid as you.
- You will receive the distinction of being called a terrorist.
- You will learn how to enjoy depravity activities.
- We ensure male fighters women slaves while you are alive. Women who volunteer will not be given male slaves.
- When you die, you will be a martyr to the cause. If you are a male, you will be given a number of virgin women if there is an after life.
As required by law, we have to share with you the possible side effects:
- It is almost a sure thing that you will become anonymous, cease to exist and not be important to anyone except the depraved individuals you associate with.
- You will probably be severely injured.
- You will live in fear.
- You will probably die.
- Your family might never know how you died or where you were buried.
- If you do survive the conflict, you will never be able to go back home.
- If you survive, you will never be able to see your friends or family, from the country you came from, ever again.